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“Puti-Puti” Update

by Christopher A. Ferrara

President Bush calls him “Puti-Puti”, and here at we call him the Practicing Christian (in honor of the dupes who insist that he is), but the world in general knows him as Vladimir Putin. This is the man on whom the Fatima-revisionists stake their claim that Russia is “converting” because Russia was “consecrated” to the Immaculate Heart — oh, 18 years ago, but who’s counting? It now seems appropriate to inaugurate another update feature for this column: the “Puti-Puti” update.

As readers of this column would know, Puti-Puti shows no signs of going along with the “miracle” perceived by the Fatima revisionists. With each passing day, signs of a Soviet-style Cult of Putin are on the increase. The “spontaneous” rallies to celebrate the Great Leader and the Putin tee-shirts have already been noted here. But now we have something as ominous as it is silly: a rock-and-roll tribute to Puti-Puti.

As one recent news article (by reporter Kevin O’Flynn) notes, the Russian airwaves are now filled with the strains of “I Want Someone Like Putin” — a tune recorded by “the previously unknown girl band Poyushchiye Vmeste, or Singing Together.” O’Flynn rightly describes the song as “slavish in its devotion to the president.”

The lyrics of “I Want Someone Like Putin” are an inadvertent commentary on the state of Russian society today — 18 years after the “consecration”. Here they are:

My boyfriend has got himself into trouble again,
Had a fight, downed a lot of cr--.
I’m so fed up with him, I dumped him,
And now I want someone like Putin.
Someone like Putin, full of strength,
Someone like Putin, who doesn’t drink,
Someone like Putin, who doesn’t hurt me,
Someone like Putin, who won’t run away.
I saw him yesterday on the news,
He said that the world is at a crossroads.
Someone like him is easy to be with at home and with friends,
And now I want someone like Putin.

Pretty catchy, eh? That’s what today’s Russian girl wants: someone who isn’t drunk; someone who doesn’t beat her; someone who doesn’t run away. Someone like Putin!

Group member Yelin says that Singing Together’s “next song is about abortion.” “It will be very real,” group member Kozlova said. Real as in five abortions for every Russian woman, on average. Real as in the Russian population declining at the rate of 700,000 per year. But the problem is, Putin himself presides over the world’s most promiscuous regime of abortion-on-demand. Yet Russian girls want someone like Putin because he is “full of strength.” What more can one say?

So, welcome to Russia 2002. If what Sister Lucy called “that poor nation” is in the midst of a conversion today, I will eat the entire web server in which this column is stored.